Ali Carruthers

Hi, my name is Alison (Ali) Carruthers, and I am one of Dumfries and Galloway Sands new befrienders. In 2013 our daughter, Bethany was stillborn. All through our pregnancy the thought that our baby would die never crossed our minds so when Bethany died, our whole lives changed forever.

It wasn’t long after Bethany died that we made contact with Dumfries and Galloway Sands. I remember the first time we arranged to meet two of the befrienders, and I nearly cancelled, the last thing I wanted when I was hurting so much was to talk about my baby to complete strangers but after some gentle persuasion from Kenny I found the strength to go along. When the befrienders shared their own stories, I realised we weren’t alone and it was actually much easier to talk to them than to some of our friends and family as they allowed us to be grieving parents without judging us.

Kenny and I then joined the Dumfries and Galloway Sands Committee back in March 2015 however it took until November 2016 for me to feel that the time was right for me to do my befriender training. The pain of losing Bethany will never leave us but without the support of Sands we wouldn’t have coped how we did and now its my turn to give a little back to anyone who is in the heartbreaking position we were when Bethany died.